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Unread 04-26-2009   #1 (permalink)
kllx
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Default My cat thinks he's too cool to hang out with me... u_u

Seriously though, I was hoping someone could give me some advice about my cat.

His name is Scout and he's over a year and a half old. My sister found him as a kitten near her house, and, since her cat doesn't like other cats, she wanted me to adopt him, which I willingly did.

When Scout was little I was working terrible hours: part-time first shift and part-time third shift. Eventually I quit my third shift job and got another first shift part-time job, but I was working six days a week, about 50 hours. I had very little time or energy for Scout, so I'm sad to say that he grew up kind of ignored.

Since January I have only been working part-time, which means I can now spend a lot more time with him. However, whether it's due to the fact that I didn't give him enough attention when he was little, or if Scout's just an unusually aloof cat, I don't know.

He doesn't like to be held or petted, and he won't sit in my lap. When I try to play with him, he's very disinterested. He's not entirely un-affectionate. He's thrilled to see me when I get home (of course, that means I'll be feeding him, so I don't know if it's me he's happy to see or if he's just hungry). He also sleeps at the foot of my bed all night, every night. And he does want my attention. When I'm working at the computer he'll climb up the back of the chair or sit on the other side of the room meowing pitifully.

But when I go to play with him, he'll play for maybe a minute or two and then lose interest. And when I try to give him attention by petting him, he just walks away. So I go back to my desk, and in a few minutes he's crying for me again. I just don't know what he wants!

The fact that he doesn't want to play with me doesn't mean he's lethargic. He's very energetic and alert. He eats well, has no litter box problems, and he doesn't act like he's in pain. He'll play with a toy by himself, but not with me. He's strictly an indoor cat, and my landlady won't allow me to get another cat to keep him company. So I worry that he gets bored.

I've only ever had one other cat. She was a very affectionate lap cat who was also very playful. I know that different cats have different personalities, and Brandy was adopted from a pet store, whereas I don't know how life was for Scout before my sister found him.

One things that's odd, he gets very frightened when there is more than one person in the room with him. It doesn't matter who it is. It can even be someone he's never seen before. But as soon as another person comes in, even if it's me, he gets very skittish and slinks away to hide.

Well, if you're still reading by this point, I thank you! What I want to know is, should I be worried about any of this? How can I bond with Scout if he doesn't like being held, petted, or played with, and he won't sit on my lap? Is there anything I can do to encourage him to be a bit more social? Conversely, is there anything I shouldn't be doing, anything that would make things worse? Would he benefit from having a feline playmate? (I plan to move in a year or two.) And what can/should I do when he meows for me?

Anyone who answers this, you're wonderful. Thanks for reading.
 
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Unread 04-26-2009   #2 (permalink)
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Hi ! Welcome to the forum. I'm Irene, and what's your name ? Thank you for taking Scout in. I'm sure your cat is a real cat ! He behaves just like a normal cat, cats are mostly cool and independent. Every cat has different personality, but in your case, he missed you so much when you have to work long hours, not just because he's hungry (or maybe starving), cats also need companion, however, feeding him is a good way to establish stronger bonds, try also giving him his favorite treats from time to time, let's call it bonding times... So, bonding time is not necessarily playing time. He's playful and needs attention just like most other cats do.. My Princess is the one who will cry for attention whenever I'm get my hands on the PC. Both Princess and Tiger are my lap-top kitties. Earl Blue only gives me good-night kisses, but never likes to be petted or lifted up. They all love to sleep with me, but not every night... kind of taking turn..(they have their own favorite cozy beds) but sometimes all three will sleep by my side. Scout is just like other cats, sleeping with human meowmy gives him the safe and sound feeling, like sleeping with their feline mom. They're just different, but each one of them is unique and loved equally. When he cries for attention again, remember to stop your work and pet him or play with him, even if it is just for one minute, he'll appreciate it.
It's a purrrfect idea to get him a feline companion after you move to another place. So,your Scout is purrrrfect ! Any photo ?

PS : My lady is the timid cat who will straight away hide whenever someone else comes into the house, she is not a social cat, just like your Scout is not a people cat... lol..
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Unread 04-27-2009   #3 (permalink)
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Hi & welcome!

You got a great advice from Irene, no need for more.
Hope to see pix soon!
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Unread 04-27-2009   #4 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome to you and Scout.I'm Cheryl,hope Irene's advice works for you,be patient,my Dylan can be very aloof at times,she also can be a bit skittish when other people are around,grooming and talking to her really helps.xxxxx
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Unread 04-27-2009   #5 (permalink)
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Hi, and welcome, it sounds like everything has been said. Hope to see you around the place.
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Unread 04-27-2009   #6 (permalink)
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he probably is too cool for you to hang out with. maybe you should dress better or something. hahha just kidding
 
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Unread 04-27-2009   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sealy View Post
he probably is too cool for you to hang out with. maybe you should dress better or something. hahha just kidding
Why not ? That's also a great idea !
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Unread 04-27-2009   #8 (permalink)
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I also think so, hehe
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Unread 05-07-2009   #9 (permalink)
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Hey I know exactly how you feel, believe it or not.

My second cat, Nefrit, used to be exactly like that. When I first got her, she was a rambunctious little thing, always flying from one corner of the house to the other. She would not stay still to be petted, would not play with any of the toys I already had (Bastet's toys), and NEVER sat on my lap. She also REFUSED to let me hold her, to the point of wiggling and even biting.

I thought she hated me

Three years later ... guess what?

She sleeps on my bed every night -- just like Scout But always at the foot; she still is not interested in stealing the pillow (unlike a certain Siamese-cross ... hmph). She loves, love, LOVES to be patted and scratched under her chin, she purrs constantly (seriously), she loves playing, she will even come and sit on my lap!!!

And she lets me pick her up and hold her

It's just that she grew up mostly alone, like your baby did. They love, sure, but don't know how to express that affection. Just find out what tickles his fancy. For instance: Nefrit didn't like any of the toys I already had, so I did something I'd never done before: I bought a wand. I thought the wands were stupid, frankly (Bastet's superiority was rubbing off on me...) But to this day, she goes to town with those goofy things, cutting flips in mid-air as she snatches the dangly feather thing. She even PICKS IT UP and drags it over to me, sometimes UP the stairs, then drops it and meows, looking up at me (Hmm ... whatever could she want? lol).

I also found out that she is a Furminator-addict. As soon as I take it out, she comes bounding out and waits for me to began the fabulous spine-tingling brushing action!!!

So ... just give it time XD
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Unread 05-11-2009   #10 (permalink)
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Thanks for the replies everyone. I think maybe Scout does love me after all; he brought me a dead mouse. D:

Here's a few pictures of him:

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/d...lx80/011-3.jpg

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/d...IMG_0049_2.jpg

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/d...x80/scout9.jpg
 
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