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Unread 06-30-2009   #1 (permalink)
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Hi I really hope someone can help
We have a 4 yrar old female cat called Peshila and this weekend we brought home a lovely boy called Toby who is 10 weeks old I have done lots of reasearch about introducing them to each other etc and so far everything is going to plan Peshila hates him and he is just simply interested in her!! Things are getting better and everything is as we expected What I didn't expect was her reaction to me We were very close and although she is quite a shy cat she was very relaxed with me in particular but my husband also Since we brought Toby home she has completely shut me out She hisses and growls at me and generally cannot even look at me She is a little off with my husband but not to the extent she is with me I am devastated I really didn't expect this I try not to fuss the kitten when she isn't around (and definitely don't when she is) but he is already very attached to me Any advise gratefully received I love her very much and am so upset I have done this to her

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File Type: jpg Toby June 2009 018 (Medium).jpg (51.8 KB, 12 views)
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Unread 06-30-2009   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Debbie & gang, welcome!

Your kitties are precious, concats!

Hehe, again the same thing... Pls don't be worried, it will happen each time you decide to bring home a new kit. It already happened to me - how many times? - I already forgot...
It doesn't matter, you only need to be patient & introduce Toby to Peshila gradually. Don't forget cats are territorial & for Peshila, Toby is an intruder. I believe that in 2 weeks or so all will be Okay, don't worry & don't be upset. Great you brought a companion for Peshila!
Good luck & pls keep us posted.
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Unread 06-30-2009   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Debbie ! First of all, congratulations on your new addition. Both Peshila and Toby are fabulous kitties !
I agree with Maya. This is just temporary, she is just jealous. Try to see the situation from her point of view. Once the apple of your eye and the recipient of nearly all of your attention while at home, now she would think that with Toby at home, she is not loved anymore, or she will need to compete with him to get your love and attention. With your patience and proper gradual but systematic introduction, you'll win her trust back.
What you need to do is to shower Peshila with your love and attention even more, without feeling guilty ! It's good you know that showing partiality will make things even worse. Keep in mind the importance of the role of scent in the cat's social life. Felliway Plug ins appears to have a calming effect on cats, using it can help reduce Peshila's and Toby's trauma and tension between them.
Provide one litterbox per cat plus one extra and place them in widely separated sites. Some cats will not use a litterbox if other cats are nearby. Reduce competition at mealtimes by providing several feeding stations.
Happy bonding and bless you all !
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Unread 06-30-2009   #4 (permalink)
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Irene and Maya are so wise. They said all the right things.
I also wanted to add that I think it's nothing but positive that you brought home another cat! Now she'll never be alone, even if you are away
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Unread 07-01-2009   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you all for your words of reassurance I feel a bit more optimistic now! Peshila and I had a special bond and I was so upset to think we had lost that W will preservere!
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Unread 07-01-2009   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by debbieali View Post
Thank you all for your words of reassurance I feel a bit more optimistic now! Peshila and I had a special bond and I was so upset to think we had lost that W will preservere!
Don't worry Debbie, Peshila once your baby, forever she will be ! You're both irreplacable, and now even better, another baby was added to both of you ! Keep up the good work, and please keep us updated !
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Unread 07-01-2009   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Debbie,

Your cat will come around, it will take some time, but you'll see. Irene and the other are on target with what they said. Just be patient.

I had the same problem happened to me a month ago and I completley forgot about it, lol. Mattie who use to sleep on my pillow had stopped sleeping on my pillow when I brought Tincabel home. When I picked him up he would growl and make a really hissing owful noise, but that's about it. It all started when Tincabel stayed in my room with me. Now I can say a month has gone by and he no longer does that anymore.

So you just need a little patience and your cat will go back to you eventually
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Unread 07-02-2009   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Debbie,can't add anything here,just like to say Peshila and Toby are lush.Hugs and purrs from me and my gang.xxxxx
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Unread 07-06-2009   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks for all your kindness Just a quick update - they were sleeping on the bed together!! Ok so they were at the furthest possible ends of the beds but hey its progress! Toby has well and truly settled in which is great to see Peshila is still very off with me, but after all the words of wisdom I am hoping she will soften towards me soon xx
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Unread 07-06-2009   #10 (permalink)
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One thing you could do, is just try picking her up, just so that she knows you still care about her. You could show her some affection by being close to her and just petting her, then eventually she'll see you still care about her and she'll melt really quick with you. I had to do that with Mattie. Although he hissed at me when I picked him up, I still wouldn't give up. I insist picking him up and also petting him at whatever location he was at, he come around after around a month or so, maybe a little longer, it depends on the cat as well it depends on how presistant you can be with her.
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