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Unread 04-26-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default Need advice

We had 5 cats in our apartment. My husband and my father have been pressuring me to give up 2 cats. We gave them away last Saturday.They are very special to me. I miss them very much and am thinking about them every day. I had some thoughts about talking to the family who adapted the cats and asking them to give the cats back. I really really miss my cats.
I know that the above plan sounds somewhat childish and I am ashamed to call the people to ask for my cats back. At the same time I want to be selfish and have them back. I do not know what to do. I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks.

Last edited by Pishi; 04-27-2010 at 05:40 PM.
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Unread 04-27-2010   #2 (permalink)
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This is a difficult one. May I ask you some questions before I give you my opinion? Have you and your husband been togther when you got the 5 cats? How big is your appartment (size, how many rooms)? What was the reason for giving them away? Your husband and your father must have had arguments, right?
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Unread 04-27-2010   #3 (permalink)
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My husband and I have been married for 3 years now. I got all the cats in the past year while studying in the Caribbean. My husband approved having the cats. Our first 3 cats were homeless cats whom I picked up from the street. And when I got the 3rd cat my husband and I agreed on putting it up for adoption later on. Last 2 cats are siblings. A friend of mine left a cat with 3 kittens for me to look after since they could not travel because they were too little. I took care of those kittens for 3 months and then brought them for her. My husband and I adopted the 2 siblings partially to help my friend who was living in a studio apartment with 5 cats at that time and partially because we got attached to the kittens. We planned on giving those 2 siblings for adoption later on as well.
However, we got attached to all of the cats, especially I got attached. But my husband said that the apartment is too small for 5 cats and he wanted to give away the 2 siblings. My father's friend's family who has a dog, a parrot and 3 kids wanted the kittens for their 13 year old daughter's birthday. When my husband and I brought the kittens for those people I found out that they had several cats before. And it seems like they have a new cat about every 2 years because every cat they had either vanished or got run over by a car.

There are 3 people in our household in a 2-bedroom apartment. My husband's argument was that the apartment is too small for 5 cats and that it will be better for the cats to be adopted because the people have a house and a yard. But I think that their house is small as for 5 people, a dog, a parrot and 2 cats.

I know that my husband and I agreed from the beginning to give the last 3 cats for adoption, however, he does not want give up our cat #3.

Our cat #1 is very sick, and I want all our cats to stay together. All of them hold a very special place in my heart.

Thank you.

Last edited by Pishi; 04-27-2010 at 05:39 PM.
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Unread 04-27-2010   #4 (permalink)
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It's very hard to advise here, at least for me. What comes now is only my opinion which I'm sure not everyone does share, but anyway here it comes: If one decides having the cats, one has to keep them. I don't understand taking them and in the same time thinking about putting them up for adoption later on. If so I would search for new homes directly. Not only you gets attached, the cats do too! The only reason for giving them away is, and again this is only my opinion, if the cat's suffer under the circumstances. The size of your apartment is of course important, but even with small apartments you can find ways to give more space for your cats. You could install a "Cat-WalK" for example. The apartment is more than just a floor...you can also use the hight. Give them something to climb on and they will use it. I redecorated for example my livingroom so now my cats (and I have also 5) can walk through half the room close to the ceiling. I think there were possibilities to think about before you gave them away. Now unfortunately it's to late. Considering that it was only saturday when you gave them away, I can't see the problem for the cats getting back to their usual life with you and your husband. They are still small, so they adjust quickly. But what comes next? Can they then stay? Or do they have to move out again? I think you need to talk seriously to your husband again before you make your decision. Think about your living situation again and show him some proposals how you could change your enviroment so it would work with all 5 cats. Have a look at this Website. It might give you some ideas too.
If living at the new place is so dangerous and uncomfortable for the cat's I would have taken them home directly. I would never leave one of my pets in a place where I know they won't get older than 2-3 years.
And one more thing.....if you decide taking the cats back, please also think about the 13-year old girl, which will loose her pets.
I'm sorry if this sounds to harsh, but I don't know how to express myself differently. I'm not a native English speaker, so if this did upset you I apologize.
If you decide taking them back, I'm happy to help you finding possibilties how you could adjust your apartment.
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Unread 04-27-2010   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you. I really appreciate you taking your time to reply. I called the people and I am going to bring the kittens back home. Also thank you for the website. That is a great suggestion.
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Unread 04-27-2010   #6 (permalink)
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Pishi,

Remember the love that your cats gave you? They are now providing someone else with that love, and I am sure those people are so very grateful

Remember the love you had fondly, ans continue to love the cats you have.

Felicity
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Unread 04-28-2010   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pishi View Post
Thank you. I really appreciate you taking your time to reply. I called the people and I am going to bring the kittens back home. Also thank you for the website. That is a great suggestion.
No problem...I just hope that your husband is ok with your decision and the cats are not moved aroundany more. I've checked some websites. Maybe they are helpful too:
one,
two, three
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Unread 04-29-2010   #8 (permalink)
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hi there, sorry to here about your situation. i know how hard it is to have to give up the animals that you love. my question is why did your family make you get rid of them? was it a space issue or litter box issue??? wont it just cause more friction with your family if the problem is just replaced with the same problem? maybe you can ask for visitation with the couple who took your kitties in. that way you can make your family happy and yourself. Hope things work out for the best!!
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Unread 04-30-2010   #9 (permalink)
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Default My kittens are back home

Thank you everyone for the time you took to reply to my post. Thank you for advice.
My family realized that one problem (too many cats in the house) was replaced by another problem (me being very sad and stressed without the kittens).
I picked up the kittens on Wednesday and brought them back home. I could tell they were happy to be home.
People whom I gave the kittens last Saturday responded with understanding. Now they are looking to adopt some kittens from a shelter.
I really appreciate everyone's help. Thank you!
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Unread 04-30-2010   #10 (permalink)
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I'm glad to hear that everything went so well and that your family supports your decision! Good luck then .
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