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Unread 08-16-2008   #1 (permalink)
fatbuttmut
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Question New and older cat's behavior?

About a week ago I got a 9 week old kitten but I already had a 4 year old female that I rescued in July and an 8 year old male who has been with me most of his life.
The male usually observes the new cat and yesterday I saw him playing a little and grooming the kitten. Later on the kitten was being too wild around him and the older male would put his paw on the kitten to keep him still or grab the back of his neck and lay him down until the kitten relaxed, then he'd let him go. I watched all this and the kitten never cried in pain so I guess because they're both males the older one was saying that he's in charge? Or maybe giving some rules to the kitten?
My older male has also been passively showing my female that he's not aggressive but my female is even scared of loud noises in the TV. She'll jump and run while complaining all the way to her room. The last couple days I've seen my older male putting his paw on her (not hitting her) to hold her down but she'll growl at him and run under the bed.
The male is a huge cat but very gentle and sweet. My neighbor says that because he's a well balanced cat he's trying to show the others the way around the household.
All I do is observe and make sure nobody gets hurt since I think they have their own rituals and language to figure out things and I'm not a cat (obviously!). What do the experts here think about this? Do I need to worry that they're not getting along? Anything I could do to make them feel more comfortable? I already have a ritual of giving out treats when they're together so they associate each other with good things and try to give equal attention to all of them so they don't feel left out.
To be honest, my older male has always slept with me and I let the others know that they can't kick him out. Also, I make sure he doesn't feel like the others will replace him.
Any suggestions or is this normal?
 
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Unread 08-16-2008   #2 (permalink)
Catsrule23
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As with the younger kitten I think that he is just trying to keep him in line and tell him he is in charge. Have you neutered your female and male cat? I think what the male was trying to do to your female was mount her to start intromission but she rejected him
 
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Unread 08-16-2008   #3 (permalink)
fatbuttmut
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The 2 older ones were spayed/neutered very young. The female is scared of just about everything but she bonded with me. The older male tends to lay down, watch her and the kitty, like he's waiting. He's very laid back and that's why I don't think he's being mean to them. He practically lives to eat, poop and sleep.
The kitty seems to adopt a submisive position when he's pinned down and stops being pushy about his playing.
I just hope the female will eventually stop being so nervous about everything. My suspicion is that she was an only cat and then she was surrendered to a rescue group and put in a cage in a Petsmart store where she was really scared. That probably didn't help her.
Oh! The older ones had been declawed in the front paws when I got them and the kitty still have his claws and allows me to clip them. He's learned not to use them to hurt the others.

Last edited by fatbuttmut; 08-16-2008 at 10:46 AM. Reason: fix something
 
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Unread 08-16-2008   #4 (permalink)
Catsrule23
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Okay. It's good that they were only declawed on the front so that they still have defence.
 
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Unread 08-16-2008   #5 (permalink)
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Oh, yes! They're also indoor cats only.
 
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Unread 08-16-2008   #6 (permalink)
Catsrule23
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Okay . I am an advanced cat owner since I've owned 5 cats so far. I'm getting two new cats from a shelter tommorow. Male and female but both spayed/neutered since a few of my last cats had kittens and one of my females was in heat for at least 1 week then it turned out my neighbours tom had mated her so I had 6-7 lovely kittens but I found them all homes. Breeding cats takes alot of research.
 
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Unread 08-19-2008   #7 (permalink)
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Well, I made a few phone calls and found out that Itsy, my very scared older female, was found in a construction site. Later was put with a foster home and then in a cage at the store. Who knows what she went through in that construction site! No wonder she's taking so long to trust Weewee.
I'm just giving her all the time in the world for her to feel comfortable around Weewee. Meantime he's still waiting at her door. LOL
 
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Unread 08-20-2008   #8 (permalink)
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This is breaking my heart but it seems like Itsy would be happier in a house where she's the only cat. I've done everything possible and she'd rather live under the bed that's in her bedroom. She'll only come out if the door is closed and I call her out.
Today my older male, Weewee, ran into her room and I figured I'd watch their interaction. He sat down in front of her but when she started to growl at him, I guess he had it with it and grabbed her by the neck. I intervened but she ran under the bed and hasn't come out again.
I can't blame her. She's growling out of fear and it seems like the growling is getting to Weewee because he's never been aggressive. He's actually very sweet with the kittens.
It just gets to me that she's really sweet with me and looks for my attention, like she's starving for love and I hate to see her hiding all the time and so fearful.
Sorry, I know nobody can give me the answers. I guess I needed to vent.
 
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Unread 08-20-2008   #9 (permalink)
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You older cat sounds wonderful...when we found our babies on the porch (they were about 6 wks old), one of them saw our female and it was like "MOMMA" but she was having none of it. Our MALE cat took them under his wing. I was starting with the stimulation to make they poop and want to clean and he actually cleaned them and they learned to be "good grooming citizens" from him. He was terrific with them...like a surrogate mother. Sounds like yours is setting rules and showing the new arrival the ropes!!
 
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