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njcatlover 01-25-2009 09:00 PM

Anti-social cat
In July, we rescued a stray. We also have two older cats, age 5 and 9. The stray is female, the 5 year old is female, the 9 year old is male. The male gets along very well with the newbie but the two females haven't hit it off at all. All of them are spayed but the new one wasn't when we first got her. The older female was attacked a couple of years ago by a racoon with superficial wounds but she bounced back after receiving stitches and alot of home and vet health care. We haven't been able to integrate the two females at all and the older one is always looking over her shoulder for the sound of the bell on the young one's collar. We keep them separated at all times because the young one keeps pouncing the older gal and if we're not fast enough it can get a little rough with the older one not defending herself. We give each of them the run of different locations but never together. Also, the older one never was a lap cat, simply hates being picked up but sleeps with me almost every night and cuddles and gets petted when she's with me. She likes to go outside but we've curtailed that greatly since the attack, never letting her out at night, only during the day in warm weather. Anybody have any ideas on whether they may ever get along and hints on making that happen? We've never had to sequester cats before and always have had multiple cats in our household. The behavior specialist at our vet's office said it appears the older one is just anti-social and may never get along with the younger one and that really bothers us. Any comments or helpful hints would be appreciated. Thanks to all you cat lovers out there.

acerlt 01-26-2009 12:48 AM

Hello and welcome to the forum. I know you must be very worried about whether your kitty is truly unhappy with the newest additon.

it sounds like you are handling things pretty well.

How many litter boxes do you have? I recommend one per cat plus one, with at least one of the boxes in a differnt area from the others. Cats can be very territorial and not like to share a box.

Some people swear by the "vanilla trick" though I have never tried it. this is simply putting a dot of vanilla (real vanilla, not perfume) on the nose and tail of each cat, so they all smell the same.

My suggestion is to get some feliway plug ins. they really work at helping cats feel calm and safe. I always use them when I am integrating a new cat into the household.

Rescue Remedy may help too.

Since your kitty gets allong with the other (male) cat in the house I don't think she is anti social. I think with time and patience she will learn to tolerate the newbie.

I have one other thought. How old is the rescued stray? I'm wondering if bringing in another youngster for her to run and pounce and play with will take her attention off your 5 year old kitty.

krzekmaya 01-26-2009 04:01 AM

Hi & welcome,

As usual, acerlt gives good advices. :mrgreen:

How many time do you have the newbie? It may take some time for the two to get used each one to the other. Pls be patient, it's a big change for the older cat :roll:

Good luck & keep us posted,

njcatlover 01-26-2009 06:26 PM

more on the subject
Thanks for both of your replies. As to the litter boxes, we have 3, one on every level of the house, been there, done that. I've been reading alot of posts and want to try the feliway product. The stray is about 15 months old now, is being treated for round and tapeworms that she got out in the wild but didn't show up until recently. The other cats are clear of that. Let me give you their names so we can ID them properly. Hobbes is the older male, Arwen is the 5 year old and Cleo is the stray. I'm just very concerned because Arwen likes to 'hide' out either in my upstairs storage room in a next of quilts or down in the basement on top of the christmas tree bag. She does come onto the first floor and was playing a bit last night then went to her usual spot on a rocker. I'm a little worried because she's not eating as much but she goes into snits when she gets tired of certain foods so I went out today, of course-the spoiled kitty, and bought some different things that I hope will spike her interest. I'm not sure I can handle yet another young cat or kitten because of the expense. We've had 4 in the past though but lost two within the past year and a half, one from cancer and one from old age. Arwen was fine with both of them but she was the new kid on the block and they had to make nice to her, which they did. That's why I'm so baffled by what's going on here, it's been since July. I may try the vanilla thing although Hobbes will probably give me the evil eye for making him smell like a 'girl', LOL. It could be because we haven't been letting her outside because of the cold and now she's used to that but perhaps not liking it. I'm just lost here. I've had cats all my life and haven't had this problem ever.
Even the most shy cats have always come around. I hesitate giving her anything to take but will try the Feliway - should I get one for every floor of the house or just where she hides out? I really, really appreciate your input. Thanks again.

acerlt 01-26-2009 10:23 PM

Thanks for the added detail and history on Hobbes, Arwen and Cleo.

I'm sorry for the recent loss of your two kitties. They enrich our lives so much, and it leaves such a big hole when they leave us.

Here is the link on info for the Feliway plug in.

Comfort Zone® with Feliway® for Cats

It is useful for much more than inappropriate urination problems. I have a lot of faith in them, as does my vet. I would put at least one at every level, in the room that Arwen spends the most time.

the rescue remedy can be simply rubbed on the face and ears, rather than feeding, but I understand why you would rather start with something in the air rather than on or in the cat!

here's info on it anyway:

Natural stress relief for pets - Rescue® Remedy Pet

Please keep us updated!

krzekmaya 01-27-2009 04:32 AM

I'm sorry for your loss :(

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