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Unread 10-04-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default Hello, and advice on readapting

Hello everyone!
I joined this forum because, like all here, I am also a cat-lover.
And like many, my life got quite messy vecause of divorce - I had to move into a smaller place, the cats were not allowed etc.
Luckily, the owner of a cattery heard my stoty and took them, I can visit them anytime, and of the 5 one died recently. And now I moved to a much bigger place, with room
As for the others, one took charge of the owner's house - she definitely does not want to live with me anymore.
The other two - ah, another one preferred the cattery as well... - *definitely* love when I am with them and seem to beg to come back (although they blended very well with the other cats, made friends etc.). They are now 14 years ago.
Now it is almost 4 years that we do not live together. Is it possible to readapt them without damage to any of us? What about stress, furniture scratching, playing - can anyone help me?
Yours,
Vicente
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Unread 10-05-2010   #2 (permalink)
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Hi--How do you know she definitely doesn't want to come live with you anymore? Since the cats are all happy to see you, then I think if you took all four back (they are used to each other already) I would think it would be fine. When the owner of the cattery took them, was it understood that it would only be temporary? You could try a "trial" reunion with you--you can always bring the cats back if THEY are unhappy. Notice I said "THEY", meaning the cats. It is the cats happiness that everyone should be concerned with.
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Unread 10-06-2010   #3 (permalink)
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Default Not so easy...

Aunty,

Thanks for the nice reply. However, I forgot to mention a few issues...
Juliette is *really* hurt on coming back because she was always very pampered by me. We slept together at regular times of the day, she made a point of eating in a different place, and got sick when I had to leave her with my former sister-in-law (whom she loved and was reciprocated). She would not take the others on again (she tried it when I was away), and when I tried it myself she would spray all over the place (she never did that).

As for the other three, they were taken on a non-permanent basis - but then I tried to readapt them at my place some 4 years ago; they (the cats, I live alone) did not seem too happy about it and I fear it would be stressful for them to have another go, just to fail again.
So?...
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Unread 10-06-2010   #4 (permalink)
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If they are happy where they are, leave them there.

They can't "beg" to come back, as cats don't think that way, and they wouldn't be going back to the life they knew anyway. Four years is a long time, and they are old now, 14 years old, it would be unfair to force them to adjust, once again, to a new life.

Since they are happy and well cared for, and together, leave them be, is my advice.

If you are positive your life is stable now, and you will not be once again moving somewhere you cannot keep cats, go to a shelter or rescue and give some needy cat or cats a forever home.

You can continue to visit your old kitties, but knowing they are happy where they are, as hard as it may be for you to be apart from them, they are better off left there permanently, since it has been four years and they are now 14 years old. That is what is best for them, in my opinion.
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Unread 10-06-2010   #5 (permalink)
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Default Good idea

Dear acerit,

You said what I was thinking for a long time but avoiding to expose - I feel very guilty for what happened (although not for the divorce itself) and was wondering "what if" they do not adapt again.

More pain and more suffering for everybody. And you said very well - I can handle it no matter how hard it is, but it will not be the best for them.

Thanks for the insightful and kind (although hard to hear, but true) comment. The next thing is to decide if I can manage another couple of kitties in my new home and, if so, if it were not a good idea to pick an elderly one who needs more care.

But I must assess this very carefully before taking any step further.

May I ask you one more question? Although I am used to cats for a long time, *in a new home* , regardless of space, what do you think would be the ideal playing / resting facilities in order that we can all live in peace without wreaking havoc? Of course I am not taking or buying a pure-bred (nothing against those who do), because they will find an owner anyway, so the ones (I mean, 2) I may get are likely to be unpredicatable.

Yours,
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