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Unread 09-29-2006   #1 (permalink)
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Default Samurai Cat Goes to the Movies

The Terminationer---A killer robot from the future wants to ice Shiro for some reason, but has a date with destiny at an convention for overweight SF fans. The Yellow Brick Road Warrior---Dispatched by the Grand Wizard of Australia, Shiro finds himself driving a truck full of dirt through the outback, backed up by a tin man who's really heartless, a scarecrow who's REALLY stupid, and a lion who isn't a cowardÂ…the author's favorite Samurai cat story, even though Tomokato ain't in it much. Seven Samurai Cats---a lot more Tomokato here. Kurosawa with felinesÂ…Tomokato and his brother Shimura recruit five other samurai kitties and tangle with Mexican bandits in a lesser-known action of the Sengoku Jidai. Alienated---Tomokato and Shiro find themselves on a badly-furnished, monster-infested starship manned by geriatric character actors dying for a chance to direct. Horrible larvae chew their way through Bill Shatner's toupeeÂ…need I say more? It's a Terminated Life---Henry the Angel transports Tomokato to a alternate universe where the cat's never been born, Shiro's the Malevolent God-Emperor of the universe, and Will Rogers has met someone who doesn't like him.
Customer Review: Gory, hilarious parody.
Drags a little compared to "Sword of Samurai Cat", butstill one of the funniest books to have come out in a long while. Makes fun of any and every self-important sf movie made in the last 10 years.
Customer Review: If you like wacky, bizzare, gory humor, this is heaven!
Samurai Cat books are not for those who desire seriousness, dignity, or good taste. But if you enjoy bizzare humor, gore & self-parody to the max, and absolutely shameless & ruthless parody of everyone else (and some darned good illustrations - the author is a painter and does his own), this book is for you. The items Mr.Rogers chooses to victimize in this installment are: The Terminator & Silence of the Lambs (The Terminationer), The Wizard of Oz (The Yellow Brick Road Warrior), The Magnificent Seven (The Magnificent Seven Samurai Cats), Alien, Star Trek, and the Predator all at once (Alienated), and a last chapter after Terminator II (Its a Terminated Life). A sample of the dialogue might suggest the general style of this book -""" "He doesn't know we can see him, Uncle-san," Shiro whispered. Tomokato nodded. He could think of no other explaination for the alien hunter's behavior. Tippytoeing in plain sight, face concealed behind a white metal mask, the creature was sneaking toward them through the jungle clearing, clawed hands clutching a huge spear. Between his swinging dreadlocks and downright comic movements, he looked rather like a Rastafarian ballet dancer from Hell. "My sword must've shorted his invisibility device," Tomokato said. "Don't let him know we can see him." "Okay," Shiro said, then added, "Should I whistle nonchalantly?" "That would be good," Tomokato said. Taking out an emery board, he commenced filing his nails, every few seconds fetching a sidelong glance at the alien. Shiro was whistling "Shiny Happy People," a tune that Tomokato knew he detested; from somewhere the kitten had produced an Ed "Big Daddy" Roth Model kit, and was painting some finishing touches on Mr.Gasser. The alien drew quite close. Pausing, he drew himself up to his full height, staring at the felines. The metallice mask bobbed as if he were laughing silently to himself. Slowly he crouched, then tweaked Tomokato's nose. Tomokato did not react. The alien scratched the side of his head, obviously puzzled by his lack of response. He pinched the cat's nose again. Tomokato continued filing his nails. "I wonder where that alien is?" he asked Shiro. "So do I, Unc," Shiro replied. The alien picked up a bit of twig, and bounced it off Shiro's head. Shiro didn't blink an eye. The alien stood, staring down at them. Leaning his spear against his chest, he clapped loudly. The felines paid no attention. "WooWooWoo!" the alien shouted. Tomokato and Shiro yawned. The alien lit a cherry bomb and tossed it behind them. When the explosion failed to produce the slightest twitch, the alien took out a large bass drum, attached cymbals to his legs, and began marching up and back, blowing on a bugle, thumping the drum, and banging the cymbals, doing the damnedest imitation of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Shiro looked at Tomokato, asking "Silly, isn't he?" The alien halted, knees knocking together with a clang. "Duh....SAY!" he cried oafishly, voice muted by the metal mask. Then, cymbals banging, he turned and raced back across the clearing, still beating the drum for reasons that remain murky, even for me.""" If you like this kind of humor, you will love the rest of his books.

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