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Unread 02-26-2009   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Charlie-The pain hurts so bad

This is killing me ya'll...the pain hurts sooooo bad, when and will it ever end? Charlie was the 1st cat I had to make the decision for, and my mind is doing things to me, like making me second guess my decision, and asking myself, did I do the right thing...and I wish I hadnt...is this normal? Or am I going crazy?

I got a sympathy card from vets office yesterday....addressed to "Family"
Family???, it was ME that took Charlie in for everything...I know its just my emotions, but that card almost sent me over the edge...I had a major melt down..Im just glad my grandbaby wasnt here, as GG (Me) would have scared her....I know I scared my youngest, Chelsea,19....she was crying, but I couldnt help myself and stop....Is this normal, am I going crazy? Help me ya'll...this is killing me !!

Thanks for listening
Dawn
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Unread 02-26-2009   #2 (permalink)
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Dawn you are experiencing a normal reaction. We would all in my opinion second guess our decisions that we make. I didn't have to make that decision for Oscar in Dec as he died naturaly (I hate that word but can't think of another) at home with us. I tried to make him as comfortable as possible. The last thing he saw was DH and I and he knew we loved him. You are experiencing raw emotions now and in time they will scab over and then you will see that the decision you made to end his pain was in fact the right one. Eventually when the healing process continues and it will seem to be a long one you will know that he loved you and although he had to leave you behind he will watch over you and will wait for you at the Gate. I still have moments and days where all I can think about is Oscar and the what if's but I can't change what happened and I'm just glad that he isn't suffering anymore. Zipper still pines for him but she just gets a little closer to us.
We are all here for you my friend and it certainly helped me to talk to people on this forum. M.J.
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R.I.P. sisters Sasha and Jasmine, Lucky, Mr.Sim, my sweet boy Oscar!
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Unread 02-26-2009   #3 (permalink)
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Oh Dawn, honey, totally normal. It's only been a few days. Rest assured that you did the right thing. giving a cat the final kindness when they've been fighting illness for so long, and are suffering, is always the right thing to do.

You will be in sharp pain for a few weeks at least, but eventually it will become more manageable and you'll be able to remember the good things. When I had to let my beloved Baby go I cried myself to sleep every night for three months. he wasn't my first, but my gosh I missed him so.

You've spent so much time and energy on him for so long, now you're at a loss. How do you fill that time, and those places in your mind that were always full of Charlie? It seems impossible, I know.

Of course you must allow yourself to grieve, but as the natural caretaker, which is who you are, you need something to keep you busy. I'd like to suggest that you spend some of that time with your other furbabies now, take comfort in them, and remember that they are probably grieving for him too.

And of course come here and talk as often as you need to. We understand.

many hugs, and gentle head bumps from my gang.
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Unread 02-26-2009   #4 (permalink)
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Oh Dawn,my heart goes out to you dear.I know what you feel.I have started to blame myself for Harleys death.Why didn't I get him neutered the same time as Finn.Why didn't I take him up to bed with me that fateful night.I am in turmoil,and it's eating away at me.And I know you feel the same.It will get better,I know,but it's so hard.xxxxx
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Unread 02-26-2009   #5 (permalink)
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Dawn & Cheryl,

My heart goes out to you both. I think I cannot add more words to those of MJ & acerlt. You know what I'm feeling right now. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your gentle boys
And please do me a favour ladies: don't blame yourselves anymore, this won't change anything & it will gradually destroy you Don't let it happen, please!
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Unread 02-26-2009   #6 (permalink)
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Dawn,

You are grieving. What you feel is normal. People that don't understand the unconditional love between pet and owner can never understand our pain. We as cat lovers understand you totally.

Trust me, it helps to write posts like you did. Pour out those feelings. Just know, we are here wishing we were there with you---to put an arm around your shoulder, to wipe your tears. We all grew to love Charlie too. It has been a painful week for you, and for Cheryl. My heart aches for both of you. We will get through this, all of us, together. We are one in spirit.

(((Dawn)))

Hugs coming your way. . .

Mary
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Unread 02-26-2009   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by che View Post
Oh Dawn,my heart goes out to you dear.I know what you feel.I have started to blame myself for Harleys death.Why didn't I get him neutered the same time as Finn.Why didn't I take him up to bed with me that fateful night.I am in turmoil,and it's eating away at me.And I know you feel the same.It will get better,I know,but it's so hard.xxxxx
Che.....
What ifs are certainly a normal reaction when these things happen. You can drive yourself crazy having all those thoughts but at the end of the day we cant prevent "things" happening. Harley experienced a love that a lot of cats never get to experience and live their lives having really awful things happen to them. I'm sending out to you a huge hug Cheryl and to you Dawn.
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M.J. Zipper Darby and Liam
A Cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world. Irish legend


A cat has absolute emotional honesty. Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. Ernest Hemingway

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

R.I.P. sisters Sasha and Jasmine, Lucky, Mr.Sim, my sweet boy Oscar!
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Unread 02-27-2009   #8 (permalink)
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Smile In memory of Charlie :)

Hello all...thank you all again for being my friend, and your kind words have helped, and given me comfort, tho we dont know each other personally, I feel as Ive know ya'll forever. Yesterday was an ok day, no boohoos, just a few tear ups, but he was on my mind all day, and will always be. Today will be hard for me,as I have to go to vets to pick up Charlies ashes, so Im sure I wont be able to say "I didnt cry today" I know myself, I will cry today..

I paid a tribute to Charlie at rainbowbridgedotcom...I spelled out the "dot" cause Im thinking thats why maybe it didnt let me post yesterday. He will have a candle light service @ 10pm eastren time, Mon
And I did a tribute blog on myspace...
Thats at myspacedotcom/angelsflyinghigh...ya'll go read it, it was hard to write, but I felt better after doing so.

Thank you all again....I treasure our friendship, and would love to keep in contact with you all..

Dawn
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Unread 02-28-2009   #9 (permalink)
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Smile Charlie is "Home"

Good morning all...where have ya'll all been ? I hope all is well with everyone.
Yesterday I brought Charlie "Home". I picked up his urn, and got everthing ready for his tribute shelf, his picture, lock of hair in a frame, and his urn. He will forever live in my mind and heart. Well, wanted to say hello, and let ya'll know he's home with me in spirit...

Che, I hope you are feeling alittle better, you are in my thoughts.

Huggs from me,
Dawn
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Unread 02-28-2009   #10 (permalink)
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Dawn Just wanted to say you're in my thoughts. Every day will be a little easier for you and now you have Charlie at home with you. Hugs to you!
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M.J. Zipper Darby and Liam
A Cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world. Irish legend


A cat has absolute emotional honesty. Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. Ernest Hemingway

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

R.I.P. sisters Sasha and Jasmine, Lucky, Mr.Sim, my sweet boy Oscar!
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