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Unread 07-27-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default I hope she understood...

Goodbye to Nicole (Nicky, Nickers, Li'l Nicks). We sent her on her way on February 17.

Back in the fall of 2008, she was diagnosed with an aggressive malignancy between her shoulder blades. We had surgery performed at the University of Illinois, and it appeared to be successful. She looked a mess afterward - they had to cut away parts of seven vertebrae and both shoulderblades to try to get a "margin" around the tumor. Had thirty-six staples in her back - the incision was something like 9" long. Poor thing.

During follow-up visits there and with our local vet, though, it became apparent that her bone marrow was failing - possibly due to the two doses of chemo we gave her to make sure that ALL of the cancer was gone, possibly not. We'll never know.

We tried and tried via supplements, shots, etc... to bring her blood counts back up, but in the end she was very anemic and the decision made itself.

I hope she understood somehow that all of the fussing over the last year-and-a-half of her life was our attempt at giving her as much quality life as we could affort to give her. She was a trooper, and we tried so hard to balance treatment with allowing her to live unfettered...

She was 17; I miss her greatly. We didn't have that great a relationship, but grew much closer in the time after her surgery.

The silver lining in the ordeal was that I started back on antidepressants about a month after we let her go. The one I'm on now seems to be working somewhat, after many years of fruitless efforts.

Goodbye, little girl...
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Unread 07-28-2010   #2 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Doesn't matter how close you guys seemed to be, animals always know who cares about them, and I do believe that she knows you were only trying to help her through that last year. Regardless of your beliefs, you took care of her, housed her, fed her, she loved you, I know she did. She's crossed the rainbow bridge, and she'll be there waiting for you Best wishes xoxo
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Unread 07-28-2010   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks, C&G - we did our best, I know. Our animals sure help the spirit. I hope we helped hers, as well. Most times I'm good with this, but on rare occasions I second-guess some of those decisions.

Mt. Vernon, IL? I'm in Cahokia...
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Unread 07-28-2010   #4 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry about your beloved kitty. I, too, suffer from depression and at times have been on antidepressants. I find that my two beautiful furbabies give me so much happiness and peace and put a smile on my face when I'm feeling blah". When the time is right, and you will know when that is, you may want to rescue another kitty who is just waiting to give someone unconditional love.
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Unread 07-29-2010   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks, AuntKitty. I don't see that time coming soon, but am open to whatever the future brings.

Take care!
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Unread 07-29-2010   #6 (permalink)
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I'm in Mt. Vernon Maryland
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