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Unread 11-23-2006   #1 (permalink)
vp311
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Default Cat One Liners

What looks like half a cat?
The other half!

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
She had mittens!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
A carrot!

How do cats eat spaghetti?
The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!

What is a French cat's favourite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!

What do cat actors say on stage?
Tabby or not tabby!

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I'm paw!

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
He has cat-arrh!

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She's got that down in the mouth look!

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out a night!


What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up a bit!

What is the cat's favourite TV show?
The evening mews!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue!

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
 
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Unread 12-01-2006   #2 (permalink)
Rocky
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Haha they are great! Now my fiance is going to have to put up with hearing them all afternoon. There was only a couple Ive heard before but the others were a crackup!
 
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Unread 12-15-2006   #3 (permalink)
wittykitty
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Have you ever noticed that cats are just like kids? When my kids wre really little they were more interested in the boxes that toys came in than they were in the toy I paid $30 dollars for. They could play for hours making a mask or a house or a garage for their dented up miniature cars, and the new toy would sit to one side ignored. If I buy my cats a toy, they would rather play hide and seek with the box or bat it around than to play with the toy. Someone somewhere sits around and thinks up these toys which are supposed to be irresistable for felines. My cats resist the toys I pay between one and five dollars for, and they play with the packaging. Other irresistable cat toys include a ball of crumpled paper, a streamer of toilet paper, the roll from the toilet paper or paper towel, empty frozen orange juice cans.
 
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Unread 01-04-2007   #4 (permalink)
crookshanks
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"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly
 
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