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Unread 08-17-2009   #1 (permalink)
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Default Rules for Cats to Live By

This is too funny! Enjoy!

BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair or bed quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, any quality carpeting is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human's bare foot.

WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she doesn't move around too much.

LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, then turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests


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Unread 08-17-2009   #2 (permalink)
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Love it. And it's so true. LOL. xxxxx
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Unread 08-18-2009   #3 (permalink)
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Talking

LOL that! This is sooo true, the purrrfect explanation...
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Unread 08-18-2009   #4 (permalink)
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That is brilliant - and so so true
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Unread 08-19-2009   #5 (permalink)
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That was soooo funny.
I found these in a book I just purchased

Things that are not boxes you should be in.....
Grocery Bag What's in that bag? Are you in that bag? If not get in there.

Cooler: Your comfort is more important than the temperature of the beer.

Colander: These are cozy and perfectly cat-sized and besides spagetti isnt delicious.

Laundry Basket: Nothing improves a pair of dress slacks like your fur.

Bathroom sink: Your person can brush her teeth just as well in that one in the kitchen.

Overturned Cowboy Hat: No matter how angry it's making that good ol" boy your golden as long as the girls swoon over you.
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Unread 08-26-2009   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mj29 View Post
That was soooo funny.
I found these in a book I just purchased

Things that are not boxes you should be in.....
Grocery Bag What's in that bag? Are you in that bag? If not get in there.

Cooler: Your comfort is more important than the temperature of the beer.

Colander: These are cozy and perfectly cat-sized and besides spagetti isnt delicious.

Laundry Basket: Nothing improves a pair of dress slacks like your fur.

Bathroom sink: Your person can brush her teeth just as well in that one in the kitchen.

Overturned Cowboy Hat: No matter how angry it's making that good ol" boy your golden as long as the girls swoon over you.
Those are too funny and true as well.
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Unread 10-12-2009   #7 (permalink)
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I love it. And oh how true it is.
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