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Unread 12-24-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Rocking Horse Project from H*ll

THE ROCKING HORSE
FROM HELL

Three months or so ago, my neighbor John asked me if I could possibly make a rocking horse for his daughter Gabby. I told him I’d check out some plans and get back to him. I found a plan that fit his less than a year old daughter (she’ll grow into it) at Rockler’s web site. I ordered the plan. When I got the plan I realized that I’d only need a 2 x 12 x 8’ and a 1 x 12 x 6’ to construct the rocking horse and 2 skeins of yarn for the mane and tail. John offered to pay for the materials.
Being that its Christmas and his daughter is a little doll and I like kids, I figured I’d charge him a case of Busch.

Seeing as I firmly believe in ‘Never do today what you can put off till next week’ I didn’t really get started on this thing till a week or so ago. As they say …. “No Good Deed Ever Goes Unpunished”…and from the get go this project caused me problems.

I went to Home Depot for the wood and found out that they no longer carried 2 x 12 lumber in anything less that 16 feet in length And their 1 x 12 lumber was garbage not even fit to burn…so I went to Lowes. Lowes had the size lumber I needed and the wood was almost knot free.
The pattern pieces were nested on the plan so I had to trace each piece onto cardboard and then cut those templates out to use on the wood. The plan also called for the legs to splay off of the body of the horse at a 17 degree angle. This meant I had to cut out 20 wedges from the 2 x lumber with each having the 17 degree angle. I then had to stack and glue up 5 wedges for each leg. I took some time to figure out how to do this on the table saw without cutting off any digits.
I got the body pieces cut out 2 weekends ago and finally did the wedges this past weekend. By Sunday the rocking horse was partially assembled…Things were progressing nicely when Disaster struck…the 2 curved rocker pieces fell off of my ‘somewhat cluttered’ work bench and one end broke off of each piece. After a solid 10 minutes of uttering every curse word I knew in two languages And taking the Lords name in vain, I calmed down and assessed the situation. I determined that I would be able to glue and patch the broken rockers and not have to cut new ones. Of course, this caused my finely tuned project time table to get thrown out the window.
I finally got the rocking horse put together and stained yesterday, after dealing with angled legs that didn’t want to fit correctly thereby causing to lose even more time. I awoke this morning and gave the horse a coat of polyurethane….thank god for spray cans of Poly; it only took me 15 minutes to finish the application. I let it dry for an hour and read the directions concerning the mane and tail assembly. I had to cut 12” lengths of yarn for both the mane and tail. I also had to drill about 60 to 80 1/8” holes in the horse’s neck area. I then had to use a finishing nail driven into a block of wood to poke a piece of yarn in the middle into each of the holes so 6” of yarn draped on either side if the neck. To call this procedure “A Royal Pain in the Ass” would be the understatement of the year.
I finally got the mane finished by 2pm and was pleasantly surprised to find that the Tail assembly/glue up went quickly and without a hitch.
By 3pm I brought the finished Rocking Horse from the basement into the living room and basked in the admirations of a job well done from both my wife Rose and my son Chris.

I had only one more little project to finish, I ran up stairs to get the holiday gift bags and tissue paper to ‘wrap’ the gifts I got for Rose. I came down the stairs with the gift wrapping supplies in hand. I turned in the living room to again enter the basement ….I tripped over the aforementioned Finished Rocking Horse and broke the ends off of the back side of the rocker pieces.

Seeing as this is the eve of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ I did NOT utter a profanity or take his name in vain. I will say that I gave my blood pressure medicine a run for it money!!!

Thirty minutes before I was to deliver the Rocking horse project, twinkle toes Blackwell strikes again. As soon as my blood pressure dropped to a more acceptable level, say around 199/125 I decided to glue the broken pieces together so I can deliver it to my neighbor and I’ll permanently fix it tomorrow or Sunday.
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Unread 12-24-2010   #2 (permalink)
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THANK YOU for the laugh Butch, just what I needed before I go back to the kitchen.

I wanna see the rocking horse, take pictures please!
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Unread 12-24-2010   #3 (permalink)
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I'll post a pict after I fix it.
As for Mistletoe, I never got a return call from the shelter, we only had her a week but she sort of attached herself to me and visa versa...I'm missing her but the shelter is 15 miles away one way and with the holidays and projects etc. I just couldn't get there to visit...besides it seems everytime I visit the shelter I get an uncontrolable urge to bring another kitty home.
Hopefully, she'll get better and we'll bring her home.
Callie is getting more comfortable with her new abode every day, she still doesn't like company or a lot of noise...but she does seem to cozy up to visitors who we know are cat lovers/owners.
She 'helped' the wife chop celery for rottini salad, she attempted to continue helping when the onions were getting diced, her 1st time on the kitchen table ended quickly when she gave the diced onions a sniff. Apparently she don't like onions. lol
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Unread 12-27-2010   #4 (permalink)
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Please be careful--onions can KILL a cat--even sniffing the "fumes" (for lack of a better word) from the onions is bad.
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