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Unread 04-21-2011   #1 (permalink)
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Talking The Passing zone

I planned on getting everything done I needed to do after work today, so I could devote the long weekend to finally finishing/building Rose’s Pantry Cabinet.


Rose and I made a quick stop in Home Depot, finding quality 1x6s quickly and a router trim bit I needed. We breezed through the check out. We got a close parking space at Wal-Mart and flew thru the store buying the items on our list. After a short checkout wait in the 20 items or less isle we exited the Super Center. I then ran to the beer Distributor for a 30 pack of Busch Light. It was on Sale (I am trying to count my calories. ). With the Mercury Sable wagon loaded up with all the essentials, Beer, Food and Wood I proceeded homeward bound at a brisk pace.
Everything in my world was just peachy. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, my loving wife was chatting happily with me and I was off from work till Monday. I then came upon the elderly male driver puttering along the 2 lane, double yellow lined road at the breath taking speed of 33 miles per hour….the suggested speed limit on the road was 50. We were going that slow I could actually hear the frozen Banana Cream Pie melting. I was developing a Sahara Desert dry mouth thirst and my 55 year old bladder was telling me it just decided it was at full capacity.
I knew there was a long, clear, straight passing zone just ahead at the crest of the hill. As the elderly man piloting the 33 mile per hour rocket sled crested the hill I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw that speed racer was leading a pack of 9 vehicles traveling at 33 miles per hour. I went to pull out and pass the old geezer and pulled right back in line as there were 6 cars coming at me doing the posted speed limit of 50 miles per hour. I silently cursed my fate and barely managed to keep the Sable wagon under control while traveling at the warp speed of 33 miles per hour. The leader of the pack and I were nearing the end of the legal passing zone when the oncoming traffic cleared. I pulled into the other lane and let the 6 cylinders of the Sable wagon run free. It’s not hard or distance consuming to pass a car going 33 miles per hour. I started my pass crossing the dotted yellow lines and finished by crossing the double yellow line. I had a smile on my face as I realized that I was the only one that was able to get around speed racer. The smile was Very Short Lived as I glanced in my rear view mirror to see a vehicle passing the long line of cars behind me at a high rate of speed. The person driving that vehicle was able to accomplish that feat because he had a bar of flashing red and blue lights atop his vehicle and he was employed by the State of Pennsylvania as a “State Trooper”. I let fly the universal comment when you realize a policeman is signaling you to pull over….”AHHH POOP!!!
Rose asked me what was wrong; I told her a state trooper wanted to talk to me, forth with.
I pulled over as soon as it was safe enough….right across from the entrance to SCI Mahanoy. (State Corrections Institute- Mahanoy). My day proceeded to get even worse…
I took off my seat belt to get my wallet. I had my driver’s license and owner’s card and my proof of insurance card…that expired in 2009. The trooper arrived at my open window as I sat there unseat belted, I handed him my cards along with the other insurance card Rose retrieved from the glove compartment. He informed me that I was stopped for an illegal pass. I did admit to him that I started the pass on the dotted line but ended it illegally.

The State Trooper informed me that we were being tape recorded and filmed.
He asked me if I was wearing a seat belt, I swore to him I was and had removed it to retrieve my information from my wallet. He spied the beer on the back seat and asked me if I had been drinking…I was going to say “Not yet, but give me an hour” but I just honestly replied “No Sir.” The trooper told me to sit tight, he’d be right back.
I looked at Rose, she was laughing…she said I would have done the same thing. I said I would have much rather have her sitting behind the wheel instead of me. I then asked her if she wanted to make faces into the trooper’s video camera….she declined. The trooper was taking a long time to ‘get back to me’ I was getting a little worried. The only thing I could think of that I had on my record was a 10 year old Philadelphia parking ticket, unpaid. I looked across the highway at the entrance to SCI Mahanoy and said to Rose “He won’t have to take me too far to lock me up” She did not find me amusing.
A few minutes later the Trooper appeared at my open window and handed me my licence information and A Warning for my passing escapades and not having a valid insurance card. (The second card expired in 2010)
A WARNING….In My World the sun started shining again, birds were chirping, and the sky was again blue. My Loving Caring, Life Partner, Rose complained that she couldn’t believe How Lucky I was…just getting a Warning. I married Rose for many reasons…Her undying support thru thick and thin wasn’t one of them.
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Unread 04-21-2011   #2 (permalink)
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Fantastic story Butch, thank you so much for sharing. Of course he was able to check your insurance status, but where's your updated card?

And since you were being video taped, the camera probably caught you undoing your seat belt.

I bet he was sitting in that line making bets with himself (or a partner) over whether you were going to try to make the pass.

Good luck with your weekend project. I bet Rose will be thrilled when the pantry is done. Will you be closing of Slider's ceiling access at the same time?
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Unread 04-21-2011   #3 (permalink)
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Yes, I'll be closing up sliders penthouse hideaway.
The up to date insurance card was in the glove compartment...inside a folded paper.
I've almost always gotten a break from Pa's State troopers. Most people 'talk' themselves into a ticket by getting an attitude with the policeman...I did get a speeding ticket in a speed trap on the way to Gettysburg many years ago.
Rose will be happy to finally get het pantry cabinet, It's been in the construction phase for about 3 years.
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Unread 04-21-2011   #4 (permalink)
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Oh, that was good! Thank you for the smile! You write quite well, ever think about doing it more often, like for $$?
Rose may be happy, but Slider is in for a very unpleasant surprise.
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Unread 04-21-2011   #5 (permalink)
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LOL That was a fun read, thanks.
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Unread 04-22-2011   #6 (permalink)
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I have numerous stories (all somewhat true) covering everythiing from my wife cutting ham at christmas to my cat Shadow (RIP) helping me make lunch by sitting on bread spread with ketchup. Someone called me the male Erma Bombeck. I just try and make people smile.

allygta,
I am glad you are smiling, You deserve a good laugh. Hang in there.
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Unread 04-22-2011   #7 (permalink)
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So where would one find those stories?
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